lies that justice told me
by Calyn
Summary: In which Gretchen Lowell gets her just deserts. A lot. (Archie Sheridan, Chelsea Cain) (CCDE #3)
1. heartsease

**Also known as, "Chelsea, you destroyed my suspension of disbelief by book THREE, _darling_ , and I'm getting sick of Gretchen obviously being your Author's Pet."**

 **Archie Sheridan series belongs to Chelsea Cain. Jade and the CCDE are mine.**

 **Other tangential references and owners in order of appearance: Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), Princess Bride (Bill Goldman), Deep Fathom (James Rollins), H2O: Just Add Water (Jonathan Shiff), Vega Jane (David Baldacci), Accelerati (Neal Shusterman), Chanters of Tremaris (Kate Constable), Runescape (Jagex), Circle of Magic (Tamora Pierce), Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling).**

 **All the chapter titles (except 7) are takeoffs of the book titles. I _think_ the violence is vague enough to be T instead of M.**

* * *

 _1\. heartsease_

 _i. 201_

Gretchen didn't respond, didn't pull back. She glared at him, eyes flashing, nearly foaming at the mouth, practically challenging him to hit her. All of a sudden, her beauty had vanished.

" _Myyyyy preeeeeeeecioussssssss,_ " came a hiss. All four turned to the left.

A blonde teenager was hunkered down on the floor of the cell, her face screwed up in a grotesque grimace, her eyes bugging out. "Preeeeecioussssss," she hissed again, pawing at the air, and made a noise that was somewhere between a choke and a cough. Behind the girl stood a glowing rectangle of light.

Susan blinked. She was hallucinating, surely.

Henry slowly released Gretchen's wrist. "Who is she and how did she get in here." He put one hand on his gun.

The girl instantly unfolded from her crouch and stood, cracking her neck. "What? He's _totally_ her precious. Don't tell me he's not. She's obsessed with controlling him and making sure no one else gets him." She grabbed Gretchen by the shoulders and hauled the woman to her feet.

"So, _Gollum—_ " and she shoved Gretchen, who fell straight through the light and vanished with a fading shriek "—enjoy your all-expenses-paid, one-way trip to the Sammath Naur."


	2. deadheart

_2\. deadheart_

 _i. 201_

"The officers searching for you will find them by sunrise," said Gretchen. They stopped at a red light.

Archie removed the battery from his phone and the bullets from his gun. Gretchen pushed a button and his window slid open. Archie reached sideways to drop his handful of items on the street, but suddenly another hand curled around his, forcing his fingers back around the things.

"Excuse me," said the blonde girl, leaning down and nearly poking her head into the car. "Can you sit back, please, sir."

Archie stared at her.

"Now, if you please."

Archie sat back.

"Thank you." And suddenly there was a gun in the girl's hand. She pointed it at Gretchen and smiled wolfishly. "Nighty night, _sweetheart_."

BANG

* * *

 _ii. 275_

Gretchen shook her hands, clanking the handcuffs. "The key, Archie. The _fire_."

"No," said Archie. He scrabbled in the bar for a last bottle of Scotch, then stumbled back around and slumped to the floor. One more drink. It couldn't be much longer now.

"This isn't what's supposed to happen!" Gretchen shrieked.

"Au contraire, m'dear," said a voice from the door. A teenager in a black leather jacket stood there, arms casually crossed. "This is _exactly_ what's supposed to happen." She walked over to Archie, picking her way around the debris, carefully giving Gretchen a wide berth. "Time to go, Mister Suicidal Sacrifice."

"He can't even stand," said Gretchen. "And you're what, seventeen? You can't carry him." She snorted.

The girl looked over at her and raised one eyebrow. "Yes, I suppose you'd know. I'm sure you've carried him around plenty. Truly, you have a dizzying...well, I guess 'intellect' would be accurate, but also 'ability to judge my arm strength by mere sight'. However, that will fortunately not be necessary." She reached into a pocket and removed something, then pressed the palm-sized crystal star to Archie's chest where it stuck fast. Then she pointed her finger at the star and said " _Elumina_."

The star blazed bright into life, its perfect glittering facets scattering shimmers of rainbowed light into the darkest corners of the room. The girl stood, reached out and grabbed a handful of Archie's hair, and lifted.

 _And he rose._

Gretchen's mouth fell open.

"Told you so," smirked the girl.

Then Archie's eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out in midair.

"Oh, bother," said the girl in exasperation. She stuck her hand into a different pocket and pulled out a spiraling pearlescent horn about six inches long. A quick tap of the horn on Archie's forehead, and his color improved dramatically. "Now _sleep_ , you big idiot. You need rest. And a hospital."

She pocketed the Heather Graham confession, then turned and began dragging Archie behind her. He drifted weightless through the air, three feet above the ground.

"Wait!"

The girl stopped just outside the door and pivoted to face Gretchen. "Yes?"

"You can't just leave me here."

"Oh," said the girl. One corner of her mouth turned up. "Oh, I think you'll find I _can_ , sweetheart. In fact, I'll leave you with a parting gift."

She pointed at Gretchen.

" _Incendia._ "

* * *

 _iii. 300_

Susan saw Gretchen's white purse sitting on top of the bar. She yanked it off and threw it in Gretchen's direction.

Instantly she regretted it. " _No!_ "

The bag froze.

Halfway between the two women, it floated lazily in the air, rotating slightly. Then it drifted away from them, towards the door, where a grey-eyed girl stood with one arm extended and her fingers clustered but pointed at the purse.

Susan's jaw dropped.

"Technically," said the girl, "this is a fanfic power, since the spinoff is not in any way canon, but you know what? It works just as well." She twitched her fingers once more, and grabbed the purse as it came within reach. Digging through it, she pulled out a syringe and a long strip of thin stretchy rubber. She walked over to Susan and gently handed them to her. " _Sciena_. You know what to do."

And very suddenly, Susan did. She set to work on Archie.

The girl walked over to Gretchen. She stood just out of reaching distance, arms crossed, head tilted to one side. "And now for you. I could snapfreeze you, but that wouldn't be particularly painful. I could incinerate you, but I already did that. I could just leave you here to die, but that's so boring. I think I'll get a headstart on the fire and just turn you to ash. Still not painful, but c'est la vie. Now, what was the gesture...oh yes."

She held out her right hand with the palm upward, fingers spread and slightly curled to the right, and _stared_ at Gretchen.

The woman dissolved into a heap of soot, which scattered in the wind from the fire.

Susan shrieked.

"Still a fan power," said the girl, holding up her hand and examining it from all angles. "But nonetheless effective."


	3. evil in blood

_3\. evil in blood_

 _i. 299_

"I was there the whole time. Jeremy was innocent. And you just let him die." Gretchen smiled wider.

Archie let the scalpel fall. It clattered on the floor, drawing Gretchen's attention. As she looked away, Archie put one hand behind him and grasped his gun.

"Oh, please," said an annoyed voice. "Just stab her again. She's lying. And Jeremy's fine."

Archie turned. Jeremy was no longer suspended, but lay on the floor. Crouched next to him was a blonde girl. She was holding a stone with a hole in it over his body. He was no longer bleeding. His breath was ragged, but he was alive.

"Oh yes, she's lying," said the girl, standing and tucking the stone into a pocket. "She killed Isabel. She made him watch. And then she made him help. He hated his father for naming the boat after her, so he carved boats on her in revenge. He liked doing it. And then he hated himself for liking it, and punished himself. It started a thirst for destruction and masochism that he's been satisfying for years. I'm sure Gretchen's been communicating with him _somehow_ , but he killed those people. He strung you up. He knows how. Are you going to kill her now?" She tilted her head to one side.

Archie stared.

"Of course he isn't," said Gretchen, smiling. "He can't. He _likes_ me. And I didn't come alone."

The girl examined her nails. "I already took care of Frank," she said absently. "He's back at the hospital. So, Sheridan, are you going to kill her now?"

Archie still stared.

"Well, if _you're_ not..." The girl walked over to them and bent to pick up the scalpel. She smiled, showing all her teeth, and shoved Archie aside. "Then _I_ will."

And she cut Gretchen's throat.


	4. the day season

_4\. the day season_

 _i. 318_

Gretchen's former victim didn't react in any way. Her smile faded. And what was that strange sound, high and faint at the very edge of her hearing, like a thin whine? Or was she imagining it?

Archie grinned. "Absolutely."

BANG

The judge rapped his gavel smartly on the bench. "Court will come to order. Commence hearing on the sanity of Gretchen Lowell. Judge Hunter presiding. I will now deliver the verdict."

A gasp ran around the room. Gretchen blinked. Surely that wasn't right. She shook her head. The whining sound stopped.

Her attorney shot to his feet, fumbling for a stack of papers and evidence. "Your Honor, first—"

The judge looked over. "Ah, yes, my mistake." He lifted from the desk something that looked rather like an automotive remote key fob, and pressed the button. "And now that I have rectified my mistake, I will give the verdict." He flapped a hand at the attorney. "Now sit thy rear upon thy stool and hearken unto my words."

"Of course," said the attorney, and promptly sat down and stared intently at the judge.

Gretchen's jaw dropped. She stood, ready to rebuke her lawyer.

"Don't bother," said a voice in her ear. Gretchen whipped around.

Judge Hunter had vanished. In his chair, wearing his robes and holding his gavel, there now sat a teenage girl, head propped on one hand as she leaned on the partition between the witness box and the judge's seat. She placed the gavel beside her and kicked back, folded her hands behind her head, and put her feet up on the desk.

"It's a logic inhibitor, you see, and it's keyed to everyone within a hundred foot radius...except you. Anything that happens will seem perfectly normal to them. Perk of being in the Confederation—we get to borrow all the cool stuff we want from anywhere in the multiverse. Like the Seventh Power, the high song of Seeming, which was so useful in altering my appearance to that of a middle-aged male judge."

The girl sat up and once more sprawled casually across the box, looking calmly at Gretchen. "So, I will now deliver the verdict. The court finds Gretchen Lowell to be sane, as she was clearly aware of right and wrong at the time of her crimes and has also never displayed signs of insanity. Psychopathy, oh yes, sadism, most definitely, but insanity? No."

Without taking her eyes from Gretchen, she grasped the gavel and brought it down with a resounding BANG. "Case closed, court is adjourned, now get out of here and let me deal with the miscreant."

Instantly there was a bustle of noise as the lawyers, spectators, and officers began clearing out of the courtroom.

"You can't do that!" Gretchen shrieked, rising to her feet.

The girl looked at the emptying room. "Can, and am."

"Why you little—" Gretchen lunged forward.

The girl calmly reached behind the desk, pulled out a small pistol, and pointed it at Gretchen. " _You_ will stay where you are, Miz Serial Killer, or I will pull this trigger and Temporally Displace you. It will inconvenience me very slightly, but you will end up naked, as in nude, as in without clothes. I advise you to consider your next action carefully."

Gretchen stared.

The pistol did not waver. Behind it, the girl's grey eyes stared coolly.

Gretchen sat, seething.

"A wise choice," said the girl. "However, there is still the matter of justice. You have escaped it quite long enough, and I will also deal with that. The court finds Gretchen Lowell guilty on One Metric Crapton counts of first degree murder, Too Many To Number counts of obstructing and evading justice, Don't Even Ask counts of manipulation and corruption, and Frick If I Know counts of torture. You are sentenced to death by a thousand cuts."

BANG

The gavel echoed in the empty room, and the girl slowly rose. On the ground she would have been several inches shorter than Gretchen, but in the judge's box she towered over the woman.

"This sentence is to be administered immediately by yours truly," said the girl, and then she closed her eyes, opened her mouth, and _sang_.

Many things have two sides, and the Second Power was no exception. First came the ordinary, the ice, a song to freeze Gretchen in her tracks and keep her from running or screaming. Then came the other, the darkness, a wild hissing song of destruction, shards and splinters of diamond-hard ice cutting and carving.

When nothing was left but a heap of bloody rags, the girl ceased her song and opened her eyes.

"That," she declared with great satisfaction to no one at all, "felt _amazing_."


	5. kill her twice

_5\. kill her twice_

 _i. 270_

Gretchen smiled at Archie. "You should have restrained me. What if I killed you? I could have a razor blade up my sleeve for all you know."

"You mean this razor blade?" a voice said sweetly.

They both turned. A girl sat in the chair by the door, legs crossed. She held up a small silvery shard of metal and waved it at Gretchen.

"How did you—" the woman sputtered, her composure broken. Archie rapidly removed himself from the bed and backed away.

"I have my ways," said the girl. She stood and walked to the bed. "Hmm...yes, I think Jeremy-style will do nicely." She pointed the blade at Archie. "And you, dear Detective Sheridan, are forbidden to intervene this time." Suddenly her hand moved, whipping out in a blur.

Gretchen shrieked. Blood spurted from her leg.

The girl put one finger to her lips. "Sssshhhh," she whispered, a maniacal gleam dancing in her eyes. "You cut Jeremy's femoral artery and he bled out in a minute. The more you scream, the faster it'll happen."

Gretchen continued shrieking. It didn't take long.

* * *

 _interlude. 292_

"Sorry, Detective."

As Archie slowly turned, he felt the gun travel round his head to settle on his forehead. He stared up at the woman, analyzing. Pare away the gained weight, restyle the hair...now he could see the girl she'd been.

And then the cold metal left his head as a black blur tackled Huffington and knocked her to the floor.

"Shut _up_ , Melissa," the blonde girl huffed as she used the woman's own handcuffs to restrain her. "These people have enough problems in their lives without _you_ making it worse. Now, everyone remain calm, I am here to sort it all out." She pushed her jacket back and pulled out—

"Is that a blaster?" asked Henry, blinking.

The girl held it up and examined it. "It looks a lot like one," she agreed, "but it's an EMP gun." She pointed it at the reverend and pulled the trigger. There was a slight _whooooosh_ noise, and the light on the bomb vest went out. "Now, Detective Sheridan, you will kindly call Gretchen's hospital and inform them she has acquired a razor blade with the help of their police chief and intends to escape." She tossed him a phone. "Also, mind that Melissa doesn't get away. Susan, get that thing off the reverend. And Henry, do restrain Colin before he does something nasty."

No one moved. They all stared at her.

The girl planted her hands on her hips and glared. "Do you want a happy ending or not? Because if you do, _move it!_ "

They did.

While they were busy, the girl walked over to Pearl, who was still lying on the floor, due to the excellent reason of being dead.

"See, kid," said the girl, crouching down beside the body. "I'm mostly doing this for Gretchen, but I also really wanted to fix this bit. Cause I _like_ you, and I want you to have a better life. Except you're kind of dead at the moment." She reached into a pocket and extracted something that looked rather like several thin branches twined around a rod of crystal. "So I brought this."

She grasped it tightly and slowly waved it over Pearl. The wand spat a few sparks and then glowed purple. The glow surrounded Pearl for several moments, and then suddenly she sat up with a gasp.

"What—where—who are you?"

"Excellent," said the girl, tucking the wand back in her pocket, and held out a hand. "You were dead, this is Church of Living Christ, and I'm here to offer you a cushy job taking down bad guys and righting wrongs. Come to the dark side, we have...pretty much anything you want. Literally. Otherwise I'll have to leave you dead, which would kind of suck."

"Well, when you put it that way...sure." Pearl took the girl's hand, and they both stood.

"Sweet. Now, as a general rule we change our names a bit when we join, for various reasons. Emerald to Jade, for instance. Who will you be from now on, Pearl Clinton?"

Pearl considered a moment. "Opal. Opal...Busch."

The girl snickered. "An inspired choice, if I do say so myself. Welcome to the Confederation, Opal Busch. Now hold tight, the first time can be bumpy."

She pushed a button on her cuff, and both girls vanished.

* * *

 _ii. 322_

Archie almost felt sorry for a moment. Not for trapping her, because she was a serial killer and needed to be secured, but for lying to her.

Then she looked back at him and winked.

He had a funny feeling that what happened next was not what she'd expected.

There was a thud as a girl in a black leather jacket plummeted out of the tree and knocked Gretchen flat on the ground. Wrapped around her hand was a rope of...dark light? Glowing darkness? Archie wasn't sure what it was, but it looked _wrong_ somehow. It appeared to be hooked over a branch, both ends trailing out of the tree.

The girl promptly tied Gretchen hand and foot, then stood and heaved on the other end of the rope. Gretchen rose into the air, suspended by the shining black thing, her face red with anger, a loop of rope stretching across her mouth and gagging her.

"I eliminated your bomb," said the girl. "Hours ago." Dropping the rope, she pointed at Gretchen. As she moved her finger in a circle, the loose end of the rope snaked through the air and began winding itself around the woman, somehow lengthening until most of her was covered in the black shimmering stuff. "Up, please," the teenager requested, and the rope readjusted itself so Gretchen was hanging upright.

"What is that?" asked Archie with no small degree of confusion. This was not at all turning out the way he had planned.

"Unmagic," said the girl shortly. She backed several steps away from Gretchen. "The closest thing you have here is antimatter. I don't use it often because it always gives me a creepy cold-prickly feeling afterwards, but I made an exception for this. I _could_ use it to rip her into pieces, but..." She closed her eyes and brought her hands together.

The glimmering shadow stretched up and down, cocooning Gretchen completely. There was utter silence for several seconds, and then both woman and shadow vanished. The girl opened her eyes.

"Simple unexistence is much neater."


	6. let her go

_6\. let her go_

 _i. 236_

Gretchen leaned against the gun, pressing the barrel into her forehead. She rose on tiptoe, throwing her weight into it. He couldn't shoot her, and they both knew it. He'd never find Susan without her. She smiled.

Archie looked past her and blinked. He lowered the gun.

Gretchen's eyes narrowed. She turned.

"Tunnels under Jack's island," said the gray-eyed girl standing there, and promptly slammed the butt of her own gun into Gretchen's head.

Gretchen collapsed. Rachel shrieked.

"Oh, hush up, you idiot," said the girl in exasperation. She went down on one knee next to Gretchen and rolled the woman over, placing the tip of one index finger on her forehead. "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacey—I mean Ennervate."

Gretchen's eyes opened. "What—"

"Silentio," said the girl, and although Gretchen's mouth kept moving, nothing came out. "Petrificus Totalus." Gretchen's mouth stopped moving. Now only her eyes moved. And they moved quickly.

"Ooooh, are you scaaaaared?" crooned the girl. "Not so fun when you're not in control, is it?" She tilted her head to one side. "I'd love to Crucio you, but you'd probably enjoy it, Miss Pain-Enhances-Sensual-Pleasure. I'll make it quick, then." She leaned in close and looked Gretchen straight in the eyes.

"Avada Kedavra..."

FLASH

"...bitch."

* * *

 _ii. 270_

"Really, darling, you're going to nitpick? And here I thought you'd be _pleased_ to solve a murder."

Archie pulled away, scrubbed one sleeve across his lips, and began to button his shirt. "I'd rather there was no murder to solve."

"Good thing he won't have to solve yours," came a sugary voice from the right.

Gretchen's eyes rolled back in her head and she dropped to the floor.

"Hmm," continued the blonde girl, examining her bloody dagger. "I'm running out of interesting ways to kill you, sweetheart."

* * *

 _iii. 327_

Gretchen sighed. "Pigeon, I just saved your life. You won't shoot me."

"Says you," came a voice from the left.

Gretchen's head snapped around.

The girl lounging in the doorway leaned forward and smirked. "I put extra bullets in the gun."

Susan pulled the trigger.


	7. in sum

_7\. in sum_

They sat on opposite sides of the table. The room was gray and featureless, but for a TV screen on the wall that had snapped off after showing Susan's shot killing Gretchen.

"Who are you?"

"Despatch Officer Jade Hunter of the CCDE."

"Why are you doing this?"

Jade stretched. "Because I can. I'm on break and they're not the real characters—they're holograms, except Opal who is now real. You? You're the real Archie. But you're not going to remember this anyway."

"How many more times?" asked the man sitting across from her.

"As many as I want. As long as it takes Chelsea." She stood and walked to the door, then turned around and smirked at him.

" _Until you do it._ "

And she vanished, along with the room and his memories of both.


End file.
